Weddings at St Michael’s

Congratulations! You have decided to become husband and wife and wish to be married in Kirkham Parish Church.

Welcome to our church. We want everything to be perfect for you as you begin your married life together. We will do everything we can to ensure that your Marriage Service will be a time to remember with joy for the rest of your lives.

We hope this introduction will tell you all you need to know about getting married at Kirkham Parish Church, but if you have any questions, please do not hesitate to contact the parish clergy (Parish Office 01772 687076).

Contents

Introductory Words

1) Planning

• Banns
• Service Sheets
• The Marriage Service
• The Vows
• Readings
• Hymns
• Music
• Video
• Bells

2) Marriage Preparation

3) The Final Week

4) On the Day

5) After Marriage

6) Contacts

7) Suggested Hymns

8) Suggested Bible Readings

Introductory Words

Your wedding is one of life’s great moments, a time of serious commitment as well as good wishes, feasting and joy. St John tells us how Jesus shared in such an occasion at Cana, and gave there a sign of new beginnings as he turned water into wine.

Marriage is intended by God to be a creative relationship, as his blessing enables husband and wife to love and support each other in good times and in bad, and for some to share in the care and upbringing of children.

Marriage is based upon a solemn, public and life-long covenant between a man and a woman, declared and celebrated in the presence of God and before witnesses.

On your wedding day the bride and bridegroom face each other, make their promises and receive God’s blessing.

1) Planning

Banns

It is a legal requirement that your intention to marry be announced publicly (banns). Banns are normally announced during the Services on three consecutive Sundays prior to your wedding and within six weeks of the date. One of the clergy will tell you when this will occur. If possible, please be present in church when your banns are called.

If either of you are not resident in Kirkham you must also have your banns read in your local church. Please contact the Vicar of that church who will arrange it for you. There will be a fee charged for this. After the banns have been read at your local church, the Vicar there will provide you with a certificate which should be handed to one of the parish clergy no later than the Wedding Rehearsal. This certificate is essential as you cannot get married without it!

If neither of you live in Kirkham you should attend Kirkham church regularly so that you can get your names on the Church Electoral Roll in order to be married.

Service Sheets

If you wish to have your own service sheet, please ensure that the clergy are aware of this at an early stage.

The sheet may simply contain an order for the hymns, readings and prayers, but may also contain the words of the Marriage Ceremony itself (see next page). It is a good idea to let the priest who is presiding at your wedding check over the proof of the service sheet before you get it printed. On your wedding day, please make sure the sheets arrive at church early enough for the ushers to distribute them when your guests arrive.

The Marriage Service

If you wish to have the complete marriage service on your service sheets, it can be obtained via the internet on the Church of England website at: http://www.cofe.anglican.org/worship/liturgy/commonworship/texts

Scroll down the page and click on marriage under “Pastoral Services”.

On the new page, click on “The Marriage Service”.

You can now use “Cut and Paste” to create a document, editing it to insert your own name’s where indicated.

The basic order of service is:

• The Procession
• The Welcome
• Preface
• The Declaration
• The Collect
• The Sermon
• The Vows
• The Giving of Rings
• The Proclamations
• Registration of the Marriage
• Prayers
• Blessing
• The Recession

The Vows

We encourage you to memorise your wedding vows. It sounds so much better than repeating them after the clergy person presiding your wedding. The vows are as follows:

The bridegroom takes the bride’s right hand in his, and says:

I,N, take you, N, to be my wife, to have and to hold from this day forward; for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part; according to God's holy law. In the presence of God I make this vow.

The bride takes the bridegroom’s right hand in hers, and says:

I, N, take you, N, to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward; for better,; for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part; according to God holy law. In the presence of God l make this vow.

Readings

You will need at least one Bible reading. If you wish, you may also choose a second reading from the Bible or elsewhere (e.g. a poem).

(A list of suggested Bible readings can be found on paragraph 8 below).

You may use your friends and/or family to do the readings and/or prayers if you so choose, thereby involving your guests in the service as much as possible.

Hymns

When choosing the hymns, try to choose appropriate ones that everyone will know. We recommend that the first hymn is lively and well known. The second hymn should be quieter. You may choose two, three, or four hymns, but three is generally preferred.

(A list of suggested hymns can be found on paragraph 7 below).

Music

It is vital that you contact our Director of Music to talk over your requirements at least one month before your wedding. The easiest way is to meet him is after our 10:00 am Sunday Service, but if this is not possible please phone Mr Edward Rugman (Director of Music) on 07816 202925.

Video

If you wish to have a video made of the Marriage Service, this is perfectly acceptable. The church holds a copyright licence to enable you to film the hymns and any other music. However, this does not give you licence to edit or dub the film. If you wish to do this, you are responsible for obtaining permissions. Please note that there is a fee for the filming of your wedding.

Bells

If you wish to have the bells rung at the service, please book this early. The bells will normally be rung for 30 minutes before and after the Service. Remember, however, that if the service starts late, the bell ringers will ring for a shorter time if they have other commitments.

2) Marriage Preparation

You will first have an interview with one of the parish clergy where you can ask any questions you may have. It is also a good time to begin to think about the prayers, readings, hymns and other music you want as the clergy can help you choose.

The next thing is another interview with one of the clergy where final arrangements can be tidied up, and details of the rehearsal arranged. This would be a good time to bring along a proof copy of your service sheet, if you are having one.

3) The Final Week

Wedding Rehearsal

The final part of the preparation is the rehearsal - a very important process which is designed to make sure that everything runs smoothly on the day. This takes place in church, usually in the week running up to the wedding. It is helpful if the Best Man, bridesmaids and parents can be present for this.

If you have not already done so, please bring with you:

Certificate(s) of banns from another parish (if applicable)

Service Sheet (if you are having your own)

All fees

Time Together

Book now a few hours on your own together in the final week to enjoy each other’s company and not be disturbed.

4) On the Day

Arrivals

To avoid unnecessary rush and panic, the groom should arrive 20-30 minutes before the start of the Service and the bride 5 minutes before the start.

Confetti

To preserve its beauty, please ask your guests not to throw confetti in the church. It is perfectly acceptable to throw confetti outside the church doors, where it can be swept up later.

5) After Marriage

After your marriage it will be lovely to see you both again. You are most welcome to join us in our regular Sunday worship.

The Services at Kirkham Parish Church are as follows: 08:00 Holy Communion (Book of Common Prayer) and 10:00 (Parish Communion). The first Sunday of the month at 10.00 is an All Age Family Communion.  

If you have small children there is a Junior Church every week at 10:00 am.

Alternatively, you could try coming at the special times in the church calendar, e.g. Christmas, Easter, Harvest, Mothering Sunday, or to celebrate your own special anniversaries.

Please remember that the clergy will always be available for help and advice.

6) Contacts

Parish Office – (01772) 687076

Director of Music - 07816202925

7) Suggested Hymns

The list below is purely a guide - there are hundreds more hymns from which you can choose. It’s up to you to make the Service as meaningful as possible for yourselves.

• A new commandment
• All my hope on God is founded
• All things bright and beautiful
• Angel voices ever singing
• Come down, 0 love divine  
• Father, hear the prayer we offer
• Fill your hearts with joy & gladness
• For the beauty of the earth
• In heavenly love abiding  
• Lead us, heavenly Father, lead us
• Lord of all hopefulness
• Love divine, all loves excelling
• May the grace of Christ our Saviour
• May the mind of Christ my Saviour
• Now thank we all our God
• O perfect love
• O thou who camest from above
• O worship the King  
• Praise, my soul, the King of heaven
• Praise to the Lord, the Almighty
• The King of love my shepherd is
• The Lord’s my shepherd
• There’s a wideness in God’s mercy

8) Suggested Bible Readings

The list below is purely a guide.

• Genesis Chapter 1: verses 26-2 8
• Song of Solomon 2:10-13, 8:6-7
• Jeremiah 31:31-34
• Tobit 8:4-8
• Matthew 5:1-10
• Matthew 7:2 1, 24-end
• Mark 10:1-10
• John 2: 1-11
• John 15:1-8
• John 15:9-17
• Romans 8:31-35, 37-39
• Romans 12:1-2, 9-13
• Romans 15:1-3, 5-7, 13
• 1 Corinthians 13
• Ephesians 3:14-end
• Ephesians 4:1-6
• Ephesians 5:21-end
• Philippians 4:4-9
• Colossians 3:12-17
• 1 John 3:18-end
• 1 John 4:7-12

May God bless you as you plan your wedding day.